Hi mommy and daddy, it's me! 👶 It's only been a few months since we met, and I am so happy that I met both of you as my family!
Since we've just met, I can see you having a struggle bonding with me. But don’t worry, it is very normal to feel that way. Just like you meet new friends, it will take time for us to feel close to each other👩👧👦!
How come I can’t bond with my baby right away?
What is bonding?
Bonding is an individual experience that differs for everyone. Some parents feel it right away when they meet their baby, but it takes some time for others. Mommies and daddies who suffer often feel guilty because they feel like they are “bad” parents who don't love their babies, but we all know that is not true❤️🩹!
Why is it so hard?
Stress may be the reason why. New parents feel frustrated and panicky in the early weeks after birth because the pressure on them is big😵. Some babies cry all the time, and many parents find it hard to care for them, making bonding more difficult. (I’ll try my best not to do so, so you will have less burden!💪)
What are some ways to bond with my baby?
Bonding with your newborn is like any other social relationship. Touching, holding, talking, cuddling, and making eye contact a number of times is needed for both of you in order to feel love and attachment.
If you want to shorten the process, physical contact is always the best way💗. Breastfeeding is also a good way to build a tight bond. Carry me in a sling or front carrier! It helps both of us to feel each other's warmth and scent from a close distance. Giving me a bath and an infant massage is also a good way to have physical contact.
Let’s have plenty of cuddle time every day! Talk to me even though I can’t answer yet😋. If it is a little awkward, reading could be a good option!
When should you be concerned about bonding?
A couple of weeks could be taken for us to feel closer. However, if you keep feeling awkward with me after enough time has passed, postpartum depression (PPD) could be the reason😔. In this case, you might want to discuss it with your doctor immediately and ask for help.
What are some signs of PPD?
When you have PPD, you can feel constant sadness throughout your days. Your energy level can decrease and can lose interest in your usual activities and hobbies. You might gain or lose weight because you’ll either start eating too much or lose your appetite.
Worrying excessively about your baby is one of the common symptoms of PPD. You’ll panic because you feel like you don’t have the ability to care for your baby, which, if it gets worse, thoughts of harming yourself or your baby could arise😱.
Help, I think I might have PPD!
If you are continuously suffering from these symptoms for more than 10 days, or your depression worse day after day, talk to your doctor right away. The doctor will refer you to a therapist or psychiatrist for treatment and could prescribe you with medications. There are many Hotlines that can help you 24/7 for emergency support, so note the number in advance for emergency cases 📞!